Текст песни Сергей Дроботенко - Холостяк

To see a beautiful erotic dream.
Before the main culmination, wake up from the alarm bell.
Jump up, kick the alarm clock.
Get in the forehead cat.
To hear from him all the truth about himself.

To try in the darkness to find the rope of the floor lamp.
To grope, pull at the rope.
Understand that it was the tail of a cat.
Read in his eyes a dumb question:
"Well, what did you want to light this?".

Start in the dark to make your way to the bathroom.
Take a step to the left, step on the cat.
Take a step to the right, step on the cat again.
To regret the animal is to make a jump somewhere in the dark at random ...
Already landing, understand that we both think the same way.

In the bathroom you can brush your teeth with shaving cream.
To see in the basin the laundry, soaked a month ago.
It's sad to say to yourself: "Still boiling?"
I want to have breakfast.
Put on the stove pan with pasta, start looking for sausages.
Find it under the couch. Remember that you are late.

Running out of the entrance, run into a neighbor.

To hear from her: "Last night your cat was yelling again!"

To apologize, to say: "I bathed him"

- "I also bathe my own, but he does not yell"

To apologize, say: "So maybe you do not squeeze your own? .."

In a bus ... it's a long time to put a rumpled coupon in a punch.
Finally, hear from the lady sitting below:

"Man, you lie down on me three times, but no sense!"

To apologize, say: "He's shabby .."

To run to work. To pull the handle of the front door.
Recall that today is a day off.
Spit, kick the door.
To hear from the watchman a detailed route, where to go further.
Light up, slowly walk home.
Recall that at home cook pasta ...

Jump into the kitchen. Peel the pasta from the ceiling.
Start looking for sausages. Catch the mysterious smile of the cat.
Feel the hunger.
Find in the breadbox last year's hunchback.
Incorrectly remember the poster "IN EVERY MONTH" POT HLEBOROBE ".
It's disgusting to put the old woman in her place.
Open a book about tasty and healthy food.
On the second page, drowning saliva.
Turn on the computer, find recipes.
Start a search by words:

Cucumber + yogurt + jam + garlic.

Tell the computer: "The moron himself."

Put the pan on the stove. With trembling hand, get the last two eggs.
Step on the cat that has crept in from behind.
Fall, break eggs.
Grasp the cat by the scruff, hurl it into the refrigerator.
Grasp the griddle by the handle, burn yourself, throw it on the oilcloth ...
To hear the laughter of the cat from the refrigerator.
Open the refrigerator, say:

"Another hee-hee, and this will be your home!"

Tear off the frying pan from the oilcloth.
Take a step towards the tap with cold water.
Slip on the egg yolk.
Throw up the frying pan.
Fall face in the yolk.
Look at the ceiling.
Meet face with a frying pan ...
To hear the groans of happiness from the refrigerator.
Open the refrigerator, say:

"I warned..."

Transfer the cat into the freezer, saying:

"Now you are on Matroskin, now you are Frosty."

In five hours sorry, get it .. unfreeze.
Read in the eyes of the cat the route that the guard sent in the morning.
To tell:

"And you're good too ... you were castrated, and you are walking."
Do you advise, or what ?! "

Find in the closet a jar with something tasty, crunchy.
Eat all at once! To end!
Catch the off-look look of the cat ...
Read on the bank ... VISKAS.

Crawl to the couch, holding on to the cat's tail.

Remember your first love. At the same time, one can not remember her name and face.
Remember how many will hit in a week.
I wanted to remember ... what I wanted to become.
Remember ... that men do not cry ...

Fall asleep in the morning.