Текст песни Neil Patrick Harris - Broadway is not just for gays anymore

2011 Tony Awards Opening Number
[Neil Patrick Harris (born June 15, 1973)]

Good Evening. Good Evening. I’m teen heartthrob Neil Patrick Harris. It’s an honor to be back hosting the 65th Annual Tony Awards, and I’d like to deliver a very important message on behalf of all of us who care so deeply about this community.

If you’ve seen a show, then you already know
how magical theater can be.
It’s a two-hour, live-action, barely affordable,
un-lip-synced version of “Glee.”
So, this song goes out to the rest of you,
those who’ve never seen theater before,
because Broadway has never been broader,
it’s not just for gays any more!

If you feel like someone that this world excludes,
it’s no longer only for dudes who like dudes.
Attention every breeder, your invited to the theater.
It’s not just for gays anymore.
The glamor of Broadway is beckoning straights,
the people who marry in all 50 states.
We’re asking every hetero to get to know us better-o.
It’s not just for gays anymore!

It’s for fine, upstanding Christians
who know all the songs from Grease.
It’s for sober-minded businessmen
who yearn for some release.
So, put down your Playboy and go make a plan
to pick up a Playbill and feel like a man.
There’s so much to discover with your different-gendered lover.

It’s not just for gays,
the gays and the Jews,
and cousins in from out of town you have to amuse,
and the sad, embittered malcontents who write the reviews,
and also foreign tourists, and the groups of senior citizens and well-to-do suburbanites and liberal intellectuals
though that group is really only Jews and homosexuals
I’ve lost my train of thought. Oh yes, it’s not just for gays anymore.

See what I’m talking about? Thank you.
Wow! You can smell the testosterone in the room, can’t you? Look at this place—it’s full of straight people. Angela Lansbury, you’re super-hot. Are those things real? Stephen Colbert, you’re straight as they come. Any thoughts?

Stephen Colbert:
I enjoy the theatre. I’ve enjoyed it all my life. I enjoy it with my female woman wife.

Neil Patrick Harris
Nice. Don’t we all, Stephen. Look at this, all these straight people. James Earl Jones, you’re straight. Vanessa Redgrave, you’re straight. Joe Mantello—thanks for coming. Kristy Brinkley, that’s fantastic, Brooke Shields, you’re super-hot. You made me believe I was straight for 23 years. Any comments?

Brooke Shields
When I’m up on stage, there’s a len you watch = I’m gonna try that again.

Neil Patrick Harris
5, 6, 7, 8

Brooke Shields
When I’m up on stage, there are , I don’t know what I’m doing. oh my god. There’s alot..
When I’m up on stage, there’s lots of men who like to watch. In fact, one guy sent a Twit-pic of his crotch.

Neil Patrick Harris
Nice. It was worth it. Totally improvised, you too. (laughs) Bono what’s going on? You see, you’ll fit right at home on Broadway everyone, look at all these straight people. Al Pacino, you’re way to famous to participate in this bid. Hey look whose here, Bobby Cannavale, you’re here. Let’s say you, 5, 6, 7, 8.

Bobby Cannavale
Broadway touches parts of me that never have been touched. I love it very (beep) much.

Neil Patrick Harris
Right, well said. Isn’t this fabulous? Well said, sir, wow! I mean, come on isn’t this fabulous? I mean isn’t this awesome.

We’ve got swarms of Mormons, showgirls, sailors, dancing boys and nuns,
plus a Spider facing, death-defying, budget over-runs.
So, people from Red states, and people from Blue,
a big Broadway rainbow is waiting for you.
Come in and be inspired, there’s no sodomy required.
Cause it’s not just for gays, it’s not just for gays
we’d be twice as proud to have you if you go both ways
Broadway is not just for gays anymore! (it’s not just for gay, not just for gays, anymore)