Текст песни Гришковец-спектакль Планета - Монолог женщины о счастье

How strange it is in life. You live, you live some ordinary life, and suddenly a person appears in it. The male. More precisely, you first appear in his life. And you yourself did not notice him at first. But he appeared and you saw him with some kind of peripheral vision, more precisely, not even of his own, but some kind of silhouette, and did not attach any significance to this. But gradually this silhouette became more distinct and definite, and now you see a specific man in front of you. And you, of course, before that dreamed that someone would appear in your life, and you had no doubt that you were worthy of happiness. But this particular and definite man has nothing to do with that beautiful blurry image that you painted for yourself. And now you look at this man, and think - no, this is not at all what you need. But this man makes so many efforts, he is so persistently trying to break into your life, he becomes so many. He is everywhere. He meets you from work, waits somewhere, sees you off, constantly calls, says something or is silent in the phone, and you understand that this is him. And because you are so much afraid of turning it on, because you think you’ll turn on the TV and it will appear there. But one day, sitting with friends in a cafe, you suddenly think - where is this man now, and why didn’t he ever call me today. And how well you thought about it, after a while, you understand that you can’t think of anything else. And your whole world, in which there were so many friends and interests, is narrowing! You just have to take a step towards this person and you take this step ... But the state does not last long. Because you look at this man, and suddenly you see - he calmed down. And he calmed down not because he no longer needed you. He really needs you. But he just calmed down, and can continue to live in peace. Calm and happy (!) But this does not suit you. You cannot say exactly and definitely what you wanted, but that you didn’t want this — you know it for sure. Absolutely. And you begin to arrange provocations - grab a suitcase, leave, so that they stop you, for a while to return what was in the beginning. And they stop you and return ... And then they stop stopping, and you come back yourself. And it's terribly dishonest, and can last a very long time. A very long time.
But one fine morning you wake up, and suddenly you realize that I am free. And again interests and friends come back. But the truth is from this moment you live very, very carefully. So that again, God forbid, do not fall into this experience and pain. You live carefully, carefully ... But you continue to wait for something ... to hope ...