Текст песни Михаил Жванецкий - У кассы

Mikhail Zhvanetsky: At the checkout
-Give me two tickets by bank transfer, give me! Should I wait? I'll wait. Give me two bank transfer tickets, give me. Wait? I'll wait. Give me two tickets, give me!
- Who are you?
- I am Petrov, authorized.
- How will you prove that you are Petrov?
- This is my identification! See? Here!
- You never know what I see. I see everything. Do I believe?
- Here are the letters addressed to me, here are the forms, read, all - to Petrov, read!
- You can not show me all this. How will you prove that you are Petrov?
- Here is my power of attorney!
- And how will you prove that it is yours?
- Certificate, photo! Compare! Compare !!
- Looks like, so what?
- It's me!
- And this is me.
- This is my ID!
- How will you prove it?
- Mole, you see, here!
- Oh well.
- See - a mole?
- Well.
- And here's a mole. See?
- So what?
- I will stand like this, and you collate me, collate me!
- There are similarities. Power of attorney for Petrov?
- Yes!
- Here he comes, I'll give him.
- He came, I'm already here!
- How can you prove that you are Petrov?
- Identity!
- And how can you prove that this is your certificate?
- Photo card!
- And how can you prove that this is your photograph?
- Mole!
- How can you prove that it is your mole?
- How will you prove that you are a cashier? Than?
- I am a cashier! Here are the money, tickets, a window and an inscription: "Sidorov is a cashier."
- You are not Sidorov - the cashier!
- No, I'm a cashier!
- You are not a cashier!
- No, I'm a cashier!
- You came from the street and sat down, and the cashier was killed! The corpse is in the safe!
- What are you weaving? The safe is empty, what are you?
- They removed, managed and sat down instead of him. You are not Sidorov - a cashier!
- What are you? Here's a passport for ten years, you're playing the fool!
- And the passport was taken away!
- And the card?
- Pasted!
- And the seal?
- Stolen from the police. They stabbed a passport officer, took out a form, filled it with your hand, washed off the blood. You washed away all the blood! Why did you wash away the blood?
- What are you? Here, everyone knows, everyone will confirm. Guys, who am I?
- It means nothing, you conspired!
- Yes, that's my boss!
- It's not him.
- Laptev!
- He's lying!
- Konstantin Petrovich!
- Pretending. How did you get here, killer? You killed the cashier! You ... Why did you kill him? What did he do to you? There was a man sitting, working, and you took and kicked him. Assassin!
- What are you, what are you, what are you ?! I've been working here for twenty years, why are you?
- I'll kill you now, I'll sit down myself. What, I'll be Sidorov - the cashier?
- And I can work, but you do not!
- You have been taught and prepared.
- I give out money and get paid!
- You are not a cashier!
- Well, who am I?
- What kind of cashier are you?
- Well, who am I?
- Not a cashier, that's all!
- Well, who am I?
- You're a tanker. I recognized you.
- Ah, you're in trouble! I can't start tanks!
- They will teach!
- I don't even know how to get into it.
- They will show!
- And where are these tanks, where are they?
- Find out and come!
- No, I'm still Sidorov - a cashier!
- Not!
- Take your two tickets, leave me alone!
- Get away from me! (Tears tickets.) Murderer !!!