Текст песни Laurie Anderson - Only an Expert

Now only an expert can deal with the problem
'Cause half the problem is seeing the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

So if there’s no expert dealing with the problem
It’s really actually twice the problem.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

In America we like solutions.
We like solutions to problems.
And there’s so many companies that offer solutions. Companies with names like "The Pet Solution", "The Hair Solution". "The Debt Solution". "The World Solution". "The Sushi Solution".
Companies with experts ready to solve these problems.
'Cause only an expert can see there’s a problem and only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Let’s say you’re invited to be on Oprah.
And you don’t have a problem but you want to go on the show, so you need a problem and so you invent a problem.
But if you’re not an expert in problems you’re probably not gonna make of a very plausible problem.
And so you’re probably going to get nailed.
You’re going to get exposed.
You’re going to have to bow down and apologize and beg for the public’s forgiveness.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems the big question is always “How can I get control?
"How can I take control?”
But don’t forget this is a question for the regular viewer.
The person who’s barely getting by.
The person who’s watching shows about people with problems.
The person who’s one of the 60% of the U.S. population 1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from a shelter.
In other words, a person with problems.
So when experts say, “Let’s get to the root of the problem, let’s take control of the problem 'cause if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem”
Often this doesn’t work at all because the situation is completely out of control.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Now sometimes experts lend you money.
And sometimes they lend you lots of money.
And sometimes when the subprime mortgages collapse and banks close and businesses fail and the crisis spreads around the world -
Sometimes other experts say: "Just because all the markets crashed it doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing".
And other experts say: "Just because all your friends were fired and your family's broken and we didn't see it coming doesn't mean that we were wrong".
And just because you lost your job and your house and all your savings doesn't mean you don't have to pay for the bailouts for the traders and the bankers and the speculators.
'Cause only an expert can design a bailout.
And only an expert can expect a bailout.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.

And sometimes when it's really really really really hot and it's July in January and there's no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities and hurricanes are everywhere and everyone knows it's a problem -
But if some of the experts say it's no problem?
And if other experts claim it's no problem or explain why it's no problem?
Then it's simply not a problem.
But when an expert says it's a problem and makes a movie about the problem and wins an Oscar about the problem and gets the Nobel Prize about the problem -
Then all the other experts have to agree it is most likely a problem.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem.
And only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Even though a country can invade another country and flatten it and ruin it and create havoc and civil war in that other country
If the experts say that it’s not a problem
And everyone agrees that they’re experts good at seeing problems -
Then invading those countries is simply not a problem.
And if a country tortures people and holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunals this is also not a problem.
Unless there’s an expert who says this is the beginning of a problem.
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem.
Only an expert can deal with the problem.

Only an expert can see there’s a problem
And seeing the problem is half the problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem.