[Evan]
I never meant to make it such a mess
I never thought that it would go this far
So I just stand here sorry
Searching for something to say
Something to say
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
I guess I thought I could be part of this
I never had this kind of thing before
I never had that perfect girl
Who somehow could see the good part of me
I never had the dad who stuck it out
No corny jokes or baseball gloves
No mom who just was there
'Cause mom was all that she had to be
That's not a worthy explanation
I know there is none
Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted
And sometimes, you see everything you wish you had
And it's right there, right there, right there
In front of you
And you want to believe it's true
So you... make it true
And you think maybe everybody wants it
And needs it... a little bit... too
This was just a sad invention
It wasn't real, I know
But we were happy
I guess I couldn't let that go
I guess I couldn't give that up
I guess I wanted to believe
'Cause if I just believe
Then I don't have to see what's really there
No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than
These broken parts
Pretend I'm something other than
This mess that I am
'Cause then I don't have to look at it
And no one gets to look at it
No, no one can really see
'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
I never let them see the worst of me
'Cause what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
Or would they hate it too?
Will I just keep on running away from what's true?
All I ever do is run
So how do I step in
Step into the sun?
Step into the sun
[Эван]
Я не хотел устраивать такой беспорядок,
Я не думал, что все зайдет настолько далеко,
Поэтому я просто стою здесь в раскаянии,
Ищу, что сказать,
Что сказать…
Нет слов, нет слов,
Мне нечего сказать.
Я думал, что могу быть частью всего этого,
У меня никогда не было ничего подобного.
У меня никогда не было такой идеальной девушки,
Которая каким-то образом увидела все лучшее во мне.
У меня никогда не было отца, который не сдается,
Не было избитых шуток или бейсбольных перчаток,
Не было мамы, которая просто находится рядом,
Потому что мама – единственное, кем ей нужно быть.
Я знаю, что это не самое достойное оправдание,
Знаю, что никто,
Ничто не способно объяснить все то, что я совершил.
Нет слов, нет слов,
Мне нечего сказать.
Только иногда ты видишь то, что хочешь видеть,
Иногда ты видишь то, что хотел бы иметь,
Это все прямо здесь, прямо здесь, прямо здесь,
Перед тобой.
И тебе хочется верить, что это правда,
И поэтому ты… превращаешь это в правду.
Ты думаешь: наверное, все хотят этого,
Нуждаются в этом… немного… очень сильно.
Это была просто жалкая выдумка,
Это не было правдой, знаю,
Но мы были счастливы.
Я думал, что не могу махнуть на это рукой,
Думал, что не могу отказаться от этого,
Думал, что хочу верить,
Потому что, если я просто верю,
Мне не придется видеть, как на самом деле обстоят дела.
Нет, я предпочел сделать вид, что я лучше, чем
Эти сломанные части,
Сделать вид, что я — кто-то иной,
А не этот беспорядок, которым я являюсь.
Потому что тогда мне не придется смотреть на это,
И никто не обратит на это внимание,
Нет, никто не сможет разглядеть.
Потому что я научился ударять по тормозам
Еще до того, как поверну ключ,
До того, как совершу ошибку,
До того, как во мне возобладает худшая сторона.
Я не показывал им мою худшую сторону.
Потому что – что, если бы все увидели?
Что, если бы все узнали?
Понравилось бы им то, что они увидели?
Или они тоже возненавидели бы это?
Буду ли я и дальше убегать от правды?
Я только и делаю, что бегу.
Так как мне сделать шаг,
Выйти на солнце?
Выйти на солнце.
[Evan]
I never meant it
I never thought that it would go that far
So I just stand here sorry
Searching for something to say
Something to say
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing i can say
I guess I thought I could be part of this
I never had this kind of thing before
I never had that perfect girl
Who one way
I never had the dad who stuck it out
No corny jokes or baseball gloves
No mom who just was there
She had to be
That's not a worthy explanation
I know there is none
I'm done
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing i can say
Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted
And sometimes, you
And it's right there, right there, right there
In front of you
True
So you ... make it true
Think you maybe everybody wants it
And needs it ... a little bit ... too
This was just a sad invention
It wasn't real, I know
But we were happy
I guess I couldn't let that go
I guess I couldn't give that up
I guess I wanted to believe
'Cause if I just believe
Then I don’t
No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than
These broken parts
Pretend I'm something other than
This mess that I am
'Cause then I don’t have to look at it
And no one gets to look at it
No, no one can really see
'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
I never see me
'Cause what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
Or would they hate it too?
Will I just keep on running away from what's true?
All i ever do is run
So how do i step in
Step into the sun?
Step into the sun
[Evan]
I didn't want to make such a mess
I did not think that everything would go so far
So I'm just standing here in remorse,
I am looking for something to say
What to say…
No words, no words,
I have nothing to say.
I thought I could be part of it all,
I have never had anything like it.
I've never had such a perfect girlfriend
Which somehow saw all the best in me.
I have never had a father who does not give up,
There were no beaten jokes or baseball gloves,
There was no mom who is just nearby
Because mom is the only thing she needs to be.
I know this is not the most worthy excuse
I know that no one
Nothing can explain all that I have done.
No words, no words,
I have nothing to say.
Only sometimes you see what you want to see
Sometimes you see what you would like to have
It's all right here, right here, right here,
In front of you.
And you want to believe that this is true
And so you ... make it true.
You think: probably everyone wants it,
Need it ... a little ... very much.
It was just a pitiful invention
It was not true, I know
But we were happy.
I thought I could not give it up
I thought that I could not refuse it,
Thought I wanted to believe
Cuz if i just believe
I don't have to see how things really are.
No, I preferred to pretend that I am better than
These broken parts
Pretend that I am someone else
And not this mess that I am.
Because then I don't have to look at it,
And no one will pay attention to it,
No, no one can see.
Because I learned how to hit the brakes
Before turning the key,
Before I make a mistake
Before the worst side prevails in me.
I did not show them my worst side.
Because what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
Or would they also hate it?
Will I continue to run away from the truth?
All I do is run.
So how do I take a step
Get out in the sun?
Get out in the sun.