Lyrics Rhett and Link - Tough Decisions

Paper
Or plastic
Presents itself as a decision with an obvious answer
You pick paper 'cause the plastic will end up in the ocean
Giving a whale cancer
But did you know that
The paper in this bag is made from the prickly peckerwood tree
Which happens to be
The residency of the dwarf winged beaver bee
And when the dwarf winged beaver bees no longer have
Homes in which to go, then I think you should know
That they've been known to reconstruct their hives
Right inside those same whale's blowholes
So you
Can weigh
All these factors before you choose to decide
But either way
Know this

A whale is gonna die
No matter what you choose
A whale is gonna die
No matter what you do
A whale is gonna die

Dine in
Or take out
An inconsequential question at the fast food restaurant
So you take it to go
Then on the way home, you know you start to smelling those
French fries, so you reach in the bag
And take your eyes off the road
And drive straight off a bridge
And who knows what's in the water below
So you should've dined in
But if you dined in you decide to shake salt on those fries
With the shaker that the previous guy
Coughed on, and then you rub your eyes
Oh no, the next morning you wake up
With a wicked face itch you drive to urgent care
With your eyes swelled shut then you
Drive off the very same bridge from when you didn't dine in
And did I mention
Both times you hit
A whale

A whale is gonna die
No matter what you choose
A whale is gonna die
No matter what you do
A whale is gonna die
It's gonna be okay
Except in the case you're a whale
A whale is gonna die