Lyrics Rainbow makes mercy - give up

I'm sick and tired of everything around me for no reason. i have lost all will to reach my dreams. I've faild way too many times. I've been let down. I couldn't help the people who were counting on me. I've started over countless times and always faild so bad. I've seen the kids, who i called friends, grow up into someone they hate. I've learned the hard way what it is - to lose someone who cared about you, and knowing that your friend is sick is so much more infuriating when you know there's no way you can help.
Why am i feeling so hopeless if everything seems to be getting ok. Why am i beeng so worthless right now, when i see, there is a way.
I have to be honest, i'm just scared to lose everything all over again. But why if the taste of loss is something i'm used to? I feel like i need to give up on everything i have done, on everyone i have known, forget everything and just be gone.
No more stories will be told, nothing that my memory holds.