Lyrics Amateur Transplants - Dorsal Hord Concerto

Ascites, Edema, Appendix, Anemia,
Embolus, Embryo, Eczema, Chain-Stokes,
Empathy, Apathy, Atopy, Allergy,
Autism, Autopsy, Arthroscopes,

Infarction, Infection, Induction, Injection,
Inspection, Palpations, Phlebotomy, Mumps,
Bicuspid, Bipolar, Bigeminy, Biceps,
Teratogenic, Testicular Lumps,

You must say things like:
Dysdiadochokinesia,
You can't say things like:
The patient's unable to clap their hands quickly together while turning one over and over and over and over and over,
Otherwise they'd know what you meant,
So you use Latin words instead,
So the buggers'll never discover the meaning behind all the stuff that you said.

Neurosis, Necrosis, Osmosis, Psychosis,
Intestinal, Inguinal, Cystic Fibrosis,
Lordosis, Kyphosis, PE, Halitosis,
And Leptospirosis, Aortic Stenosis,

Dyspeptic, Dyslexic, Dementia, Depression,
Paralysis, Parasite, Pleura, Pellagra,
Angina, Andrology, Antidote, Antigen,
Ventricle, Vertigo, Vomit, Viagra,

You must say things like:
Micturate, Defecate, Intercourse,
You can't say things like:
Pissing and shitting and f**k,
Although they're the same,
Although it's a pain,
You got to use the Latin name,

Like: Hematuria and steatorrhea,
Cachexic, Pyrexic, Hepatic, and Splenic, Iatrogenic,

But on the other hand,
If they understand,
The phrases that you say,
Just confuse,
And bemuse,
By using eponymous names,
Like: Hunter's and Ehlers-Danlos, Hurler's and Turner's and Brown-Sequard ,
And if they understand that,
Acronyms are twice as hard...

You need a:
BCG, ECG, ECT, EEG, PET, CBT, HRT!

Hematocrit, Hemorrhage, Hemorrhoid, Heparin,
Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, Gross Hematemesis,
Maxilla, Axilla, Macula, Papula,
Spatula, Scapula, Spermatogenesis,

Avoid saying nutcase and mental and lunatic,
Fruitcake and screwy and mad,
Terms like Bipolar and Frank Schizophrenia,
Tend not to go down so bad,

So these are the words that are used,
But surgeons, of course, are excused,
We can't have them getting confused!